Archive for July, 2010

I wondered why I have been getting so many calls lately. :

How are you?” Referring to emotionally after the death of Cyndi and Keshon. I have been busy. I knew August was next week. The start almost slipped by me. The Calendar has been busy; I was not going to get into this frame of mind until the 22nd. I was talking to one of Cyndi’s friends yesterday who is getting ready to move out of the area to college. Randomly she turned and said, “I still can’t believe she is gone….I still miss her.” All I could think was, random,  why did she say that, because of Cyndi’s birthday just passing?

I get it now it is August. I got a call from Marlon’s Mom (Cyndi’s husband asking how we were? Random I thought! No it is August.

Has it really been a year, so soon?

Are we healed? No

Are we still hurting? Yes

Are we bleeding? No

Are we farther along in the whole process? I think so.

Do we still love God? Yes

Do we still trust him? Yes

Do we understand this? Not Completely

Are we different? Yes

Do we love God? Yes

I do not know how people get through death without Jesus. Our hope, faith and knowledge lay in the truth of seeing the face of Jesus and with that my two beautiful daughters and my Grandson. However, the daily walking through the grief and the honest truth is we miss them more than we could ever fathom.

As we continue to go through the years I do not think this will ever change. But the tears are less, the joys are more and we walking out of this tunnel still staggering but stronger in many ways. We know the God we serve and we know he loves us. He does not bring the tears, he brings comfort and joy.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. … Psalm 126:5b

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